Dear ALICE,
I would like to tell you that my ass blew up in your face, and sadly,you were put in an asylum. If you would like some help with this problem please masturbate in front of an old man. I really thought about your condition when you danced around in your Ren & Stimpy underwear in a beaver dam. I cannot say that your hand made its way into MY pants, but I can say that you love your man boobs a little too much. I would also like to inform you about your grandma and the King of Pop have been helping each other masturbate. I also confess that I believe your collar bone and your feet to be very amazing. You are the hottest most fuckable person on the planet.
Your stalker,
Becky.
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Dear (friends name),
I would like to tell you that (1), and sadly,(2). If you would like some help with this problem please (3). I really thought about your condition when (4) in (5). I cannot say that (6), but I can say that you (7). I would also like to inform you about (8) and my (9) (10). I also confess that (11) and (12) to be very (13). (14).
(15),
(your name)

1.What is your current life status?
Bored- my ass blew up in your face
Homicidal- your cat was killed in a washer
Suicidal- my mafia is going to kill powder toast man
Out of control- Chris’s evil money wants to HAVE you

2.What is your eye color?
Brown- you were put in an asylum
Green- your cheese as well
Blue- your boobs were inflated
Hazel- my enormous foot killed your wig
Other- you got a Michael Jackson nose job

3.Why would you kill someone?
Revenge- murder your beaver
Love- donate a replica of dancing mercats to Beyond Birthday
Protection- masturbate in front of an old man
Fun- let me squeeze your ass

4.What is your favorite animal?
Dog- you kissed my big toe
Cat- I raped Paris Hilton
Birds- I was kidnapped by a gang of chipmunks
Other- you danced around in your Ren & Stimpy underwear

5.What is the color of your shoes?
Black- the closet
White- my ass
Red- hell
Yellow- your car
Other- a beaver dam

6.What color underwear do you have on?
White- monkeys would make good world leaders
Black- my ass goes numb when I sit like L
Red- your time in this world meant much to the buttsex mafia
Blue- your hand made its way into MY pants
Other- my lovely brother is gay for you

7. What is romance to you?
Unnecessary- need a nose job
Most important thing in the world- have a sweet ass
Would be nice to have- love your man boobs a little too much
Other- need to get a job in the whore department

8. What is your favorite color?
Black- your grandma
White- your cat
Green- your face
Red- Your unicorn
Pink- your bear
Blue- your favorite armchair
Other- your antichrist superstar

9. What will you do for a Klondike bar?
Kill- fish
Sell yourself- cat
Nothing- King of Pop

10. What is the color of your bed sheets?
Blue- have been helping each other masturbate
Red- have been having an affair
Black- have been collecting TNA, WWE, and TMM merchandise
White- have been making out in your parents’ bedroom
Other- have been going on mass killing sprees with Light Yagami and Beyond Birthday

11. What is your religion?
Atheist- I find your very large ass
Catholic- I think your eyelashes
Christian- I see your boobs
Other or no religion- I believe your collar bone

12. What is a cupcake to you?
Fucking King of the world- your man boobies
Just another desert- your hands
Your best friend- your hips
Other- your feet

13. Choose one of the following words for number 13:
Attractive
Pretty
Revolting
Disgusting
Amazing
Envious

14. What is your dream job?
Graphic Designer- I fucking love you
Artist- I want to fuck you into the wall
Detective- I must HAVE you
Other- You are the hottest most fuckable person on the planet

15. Pick an ending.
Your stalker
Your bestie with a freakish crush
Yo mama
Your future world dominator
Your rapist





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Hope you enjoyed that. ;D











LET'S GET IT ON! c: